


Ethina - A Sister of Battle

by SassyNightCat



Category: Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 06:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 9,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4049371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyNightCat/pseuds/SassyNightCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the collected records of my OC Ethina, a sister of battle that gets drafted into the Inquisition. This is her life, her story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Entry 350

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//command new entry data log  
Entry 350: I've left Calistra now, I caught a ride with a fleet of Imperial guards who are going to the Gelmito system where a green wave seem to be erupting. They tell me that Purifiers are already there supporting the troops. It would be nice meeting people like them, Space marines have a greater understanding of what the sacrifice mean. Soldiers have a better understanding then ordinary people but they do not understand it all. But I guess that how it should be I guess, I want as few as possible having to sacrifices the nice things in life for the horrors of war. I have been talking a lot with non-soldiers lately and even if their life are hard I sometimes envy them in the same way that I also realise that it is not a life for me. I long for the fight. Right now I feel my heart rising and the adrenaline pumping when I think about the fight to come. I enjoy battle, it was sometime since I felt that I could admit that. It is my art.  
  
As long as the goal is pure I fight for it, it brings back that feeling of purpose I felt like I lost when I was expelled from the order. These last years has given me a lot of time to think about what happened and how I should feel about it, and I've realised that it doesn't matter to me if I am in a order or not. The Emperor gave me a gift, unorthodox as it is he still gave it to me, and how can anyone be in a position to spit on what the Emperor has given us? I will not be ashamed, and I will not forfeit my vows. I made them to him not to the order in the long run. He has not cast me out, so I shall remain loyal and even if my gift angers him I will do my best to fight his fight.  
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	2. Entry 351

/sign in id: 0022345  
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Entry 351: Some of the soldiers has offered to "keep me company" during the voyage and once again I realise that I'm not even tempted. They are nice and all but, they are not the man I want. I am betrothed and to that man I am faithful. Luckily the soldiers didn't make a fuss, it would had been a bad thing for the moral if I had been forced to make use of my training against them.   
I'm getting better on this whole social thing now, interacting with people without having a weapon drawn or just scaring them with my presence. It's nice to be able to just sit with fellow soldiers and have a nice meal or chat. I've missed the company.   
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	3. Entry 352

/sign in id: 0022345  
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Entry 352: I find myself thinking back to the events on Quaddis even now almost two years afterwards, those acolytes they... they made an impression. I've bumped in to some other acolytes during my travels but those ones they... they were different. I'm well aware of their radical ways but it was a purity to their actions, as if they knew more then they should. I keep wondering how they are doing, that poor priestess did not seem to take the whole ordeal well but then again I have realised that few would. They were a strange lot... very strange. I hope they have stayed pure in intent and are faring well where ever they are.  Now I'm of to give my brief knowledge about killing orcs to the commander of this legion of Imperial guards. We will arrive soon. It's almost embarrassing how much I look forward to some orc hunting.  
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	4. Entry 355

/sign in id: 0022345  
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Entry 355: Today is a strange day, we are at Sinophia right now trying to make sense of a couple of weird murders. Ohoh, I'm a real acolyte now, with papers and everything. But that is not really important, I do the emperors work anyway, it is my duty. I'm a bit scattered in my mind right now, Ishtan, our psyker disappeared earlier today when he tried to space-slip in to what we thought were an old attic for the Haarlock family and he doesn't seem to be coming back. It's sad, because I really liked him. He was weird and about 600 years old but really nice and he seemed to like me to. Castella and Flavion has gone to meet with some of the criminals of the area to try to find a witness for one of the murders so I stayed behind to see if Isthan comes back, or if something else comes back. Castella seemed really upset, she sees him as her brother still. He isn't but that doesn't seem to be important to her so... I won't argue about it, their customs are still a bit weird to me and both she and Flavion is a lot smarter then I am. I'm sure that if the slip killed Ishtan that he is at the emperors side right now and he deserves that.  I will miss him and include him in my prays but it is not a lot more I can do so I won't linger on it. To many good people have died in the good fight for me to become as upset as I once became. All I really can do is pray and hope, and that I do for Ishtan, truly, but we have a mission to complete and we can not loose focus.   
  
According to Flavion and Castella this seems to be Harlocks work, we where in a scary place yesterday, nothing that where there was really there and as in Quadis will made the things materialize. I can not help it but... it scares me more than any army has lately. I can not fight what is not there, I am no psyker nor witch. What ever the Soritas says about it. And now, I'm sitting in Haarlocks Folly and watches for signs of Ishtans soul reappearing and keeping an eye on this weird star, that I assume is warp generated, so it doesn't changes in to something unpleasant.  I wish we could solve this quickly and get out of here... this whole place is uncanny... Yesterday we walked in on all the priests in the cathedral having some kind of orgy with whores in the sacristy. I almost killed the lot of them but the others held me back. At least I made a eunuch of the bishop... it's apparently not a offence against the church but it is still not proper and they should respect holy ground better then that... I get upset just thinking about it... Over all people seem to.. not care here.. and I can not understand that, how can you not care about your life or the Emperor? About duty? I don't know it is so strange to me. I should ask Castella to explain it to me later, the chance is that she has a greater understanding of these weird people then I have... at least she has grown up outside of the imperial orphanages. I should get back to read those books she gave me to read while I wait here, they are the autobiography of one of the murder victims, a scum who is supposed to be good at wrestling. Hopefully Isthan returns intact and uncorrupted soon... But most likely not. And it always rains. Always. I've been here for what, three days and I have not seen the sun and I have a feeling that those born here never has. I don't like swaps and rainy weather, it's to easy to slip and I get damp, or wet, if I don't have my whole powerarmor on me, and it's kind of... in the way in this new kind of detective work I'm doing. I guess I could put myself in the line of fire for my companions but.. it's not very subtle is it? Well well I'm going back to reading and watching for Ishtan or trouble. Seems that someone is coming with the elevator now anyway. Maybe they are back already.  
//sign of id: 0022345


	5. Entry 356

/sign in id: 0022345  
//command new entry data log  
Entry 356: Rough day at work today... We are still following up leads for the murders, and I don't know if we are getting closer. Some cursed mirrors seem to be the motive though and we had to go out on a boat in the swaps "lake" this morning to talk to the scum lords of this planet. I tried not to talk to them because well.. my training says I should shoot them. They are despicable. The more time I spend on this planet the more I loath it, the people here are so sad and the scums runs most of it, the church is a joke and I do not really get who is running the parts the scums aren't.   
  
One of these scum lords, who is also one of the murder victims was apparently a chaos cultist too, luckily he, and the deamons he brought forth is now no more. That is why it was a hard day at work, we had a lot to kill. Four different kinds of deamonthingies. One of them hit me and split open my knee and gave me a nasty cold. I was worried for a moment, because it took me to long to get up (yes I fell when he broke through my powerarmor and split my knee, it's a bit embarrassing) but Flavion, the techpriest, split the beast in two before he could strike me again. Then we killed two of the other deamon beasts and one of them had already killed it's "ally" so we got out of it all alive. I was really worried about Castella for a moment, it looked like she almost got chopped in to two pieces during the combat but she is fine now so it probably looked worse then it was.   
  
She has gained an strange appetite since then though so I am keeping an eye on her. We are so lucky she is in our squad, Flavion and I are not particularly good diplomats and she is doing a really good job. We still haven't found Ishtan, so I guess the warp has claimed him. I pray for him every night just in case.    
  
Tomorrow we are going to head to the PDF-fortress to see if they have a good smithy, Flavions boltpistol broke during the battle and I need to get my powerarmor repaired. From what we have heard those guys could be among the few non-incompetent personal on this planet, according to the scums their commander is power thirsty and that is always a worrying but pretty good reason to assume he is keeping at least the enforces well trained and equipped. Even though well equipped here would be a few generations back in the rest of the sector.  I'm going to sleep now, I have a fever, a headache and is pretty miserable right now. Flavion has patched up my knee though so I don't have to worry about that which is nice.  
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	6. Entry 357

/sign in id: 0022345  
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Entry 357: I believe this is the most embarrassing day in my life. I'm outside one of the noble houses in the rain at the moment, Castella and Flavion will have to finish of the interviews with the victims family without me. I... I had heard from my sisters that the world outside the order was very fixated with sex and such but... I would never had... I've been out of the order for almost four years now and this is the worst I have ever encountered. Men having... I can't even write about it.. and... This is supposed to be normal? To just... I do not see the reason for it either, sex is for breeding and that is not even a necessity. Gen-banks has solved that for us. Here people seem to look at it as a hobby. I am dumbfounded. My face is burning I am so embarrassed... I'm just going to stay out here until they are done. I can't face those peoples again... Hopefully Castella can explain this erratic behaviour for me so I understand it better... 

At least my cold is starting to give up and leave my body. A quick report on how our visits to the PDF went too, they were as incompetent as the rest of the lot on this planet and the mandatos (their kind of secret police) was kind of creepy. I do not like being led underground in to a torture cell to talk to their commander. Who for the record was a power thirsty psychopath according to my first assessment. I've met my fair share of commanders during my lifetime and I believe to be able to sort them at least in to the two types of those who want to keep order to keep the civilians safe and those who want to keep order to have power. And just wanting power but not caring seem to be mr Kaahns idea of what he should do. 

This planet is brewing at the moment and we need to expose the real killer before war erupts. I don't know why the Inquisition wants this planet stable but I guess it has with it's strategic location on the border. It's not my job to question, if peace is to be kept so it will be. Now I'm going to find a fairly comfortable place to sit and wait for the others. I have a feeling that this will repeat itself because we have 2 other noble houses to interrogate.   
//sign of id: 0022345


	7. Entry 358

/sign in id: 0022345  
//command new entry data log  
I don't know where to start this log...It has passed a day now since we came back from Sinophia and I'm trying to gather myself again. We succeeded to calm down the civil war and solved the murders but... I don't know how to put this in to words, it's the same feeling as when I decided to go on my pilgrimage but... worse. I truly became the emperors vessel on Sinophia, he used my body to seize the fire apparently. And I had a vision, it was... it was necessary I see now but... I feel lost and filled with faith at the same time. What he said was so clear but I still have hard times accepting it. I have to, I know that, it was his words. His words in first person. I have never been so ashamed of my behavior before, never... I wish I could express to someone to make them understand but no one who hasn't experienced his presence can understand what it is like. He basically told me off. Asked me why I enjoy the violence and suffering. I ... I tried to explain myself but... there is no satisfying explanation. There is not beauty in killing, I was just consumed with my pride. He... he spoke of things that according to the teachings I've been taught was heretical. How did we strive so far from his way? I can not grasp this... I cannot... my head feels like splitting due to the sheer amount of thoughts inside of it. I have to change and... he said he would point the way, I just have to believe in his guidance which.. I've always done. Apparently I've just been blind before... But I cannot succumb to my guilt and I must confess, fear. He found me important enough to lecture, I shall do my best to not disappoint him again. The important thing is to learn from my mistakes. It's hard but I can do it. This just made it so clear to me that I need to follow my heart, I need to think for myself how unnatural it yet may seem. I cannot trust anything I was thought, and it scares me. I have to talk to Castella about this. She can help me, she is used to using her mind thinking outside the box. She might help me come through this as a better person. A better follower and vessel to him. I just want to make him proud. I just wish I could tell my sisters... they need to know that we, they, are heading in the wrong direction. I've changed direction now. I have to be strong and trust his trust in me isn't a waste.   
//sign of id: 0022345


	8. Entry 432

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Entry 432: We are heading out beyond the frontier soon, to a location the rest of my group got from a Haarlock auction they attended some years ago. We have been preparing for about 5 months now and I getting kind of restless  I guess. It was the same in the order, I don't like just sitting around waiting for trouble to happen. And it will be trouble travelling out in the unknown in our small ship. Isthans father-in-law have agreed to rent soldiers to us so I feel a tiny bit safer then before but it's still risky. I thought back on how much my life has changed this last years earlier tonight, when Castella dressed me up for the dinner with Ishtans in-laws. Really fancy cloths and jewellery, make-up and everything. It felt so weird. I looked kind of pretty. Thankfully Castella listened to my only request, no dress. I tried wearing dresses s couple of times when I cruised for causes in between the end of my pilgrimage and me joining this group of  Acolytes and I hate it. They make it hard to breath and are in the way if you need to defend yourself. For just five years ago I would have scoffed at the thought of me on a fancy dinner, bloodstained armour and tending to my fallen sisters was my life back then. The fight. It's hard to change that much in such a short period of time, to go from shooting mostly everyone who talks back at you to listening and trying to understand what may even seem heretical. Ishtan told me I need to learn to relax, to "get out of that powerarmour more often" and I guess he has a point but... I'm not comfortable in 'normal situations' yet I guess.   
  
It's not much I can do to help really, I have made sure we have a lot of ammunition and material to repair our ship and weapons but otherwise the others got it covered. I mostly cruise with them and try to learn how to interact with non-soldiers. The last months has changed me, I have always felt a need and duty to protect the civil population of the Imperium but after my confrontation with the Emperor my duty kind of have changed. Or not really, but I look at it in a different way. My skills are now the last resort, not the normal resort, when a conflict arises. Or it should be anyway. I won't bother to talk to people already shooting at me but... And Castella have told me insane things they have experienced. Like friendly xenos. I'm just kind of in a state where I try to accept it right now, my trigger finger still itches but I'm restraining myself. I prey when my programmed behaviour becomes to strong, pray gives me the calm to overcome my weakness. As it should be. I just wish I could make others then just our group to understand what he told me... It really hurts to see all these people try so hard to please him and doing exactly what he doesn't want us to do. I prey for them, and hopes his mercy is bestowed upon those who at least are pure in purpose. My thoughts often goes to my sisters. I so wish they would listen but I know they won't. I want to save them. Sometimes, late at night, I think about contacting them but then I realize they would just call me a heretic and kill me. How do I make them understand? Maybe this voyage will help us in some way, at least I will get some distance from the Imperium. Some breathing space.   
//sign of id: 0022345


	9. Entry 450

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Entry 450: This has been a weird year, I haven't been needed as a solider almost at all. Right now I'm awaiting Castella. She is getting married today. It's such a strange marriage to me but no one else seem to think that it's odd. Maybe it is because I promised myself to a man that is no man. He is more then a man. Maybe it is because it's about politics, not devotion. She is marrying Sorkrat Authwhaite, and it is a good partnership I guess, for all of us not just her. But... I'm sure he is a nice man at heart but... He wont be faithful to her, and she knows that. It's a part of their deal in the marriage that he doesn't have to be while she is away. Maybe I'm just a fool, a silly romantic but... that is not how it should be. Castella seems happy so I won't say anything about it. She claims she likes him and it's her marriage not mine... But he pisses me off so much because he can't leave me alone, as soon as I get near him he pinches my butt or tries to grab it. I warned him, I won't tolerate that kind of behaviour. I  said that if he did it again I would not strike him with my palm but with my boltpistol. He just laughed and did it again. I didn't shoot him, I'm not That stupid but I did put my boltpistol to his temple. He still won't leave me alone. I'll just.. stay out of his way as much as I can.   
  
We are doing a lot of political planning right now, to secure the planet we have claimed. I'm not to much use in that but they are talking about that I should go to talk to the Purifiers again about possible using our planet as a second breeding station. Okay it was my idea, since I'm a soldier and they don't seem to get soldiers general distrust for politicians. So I'll go talk to my brothers, to try to make it not as political and just like a gesture between friends. I don't know I... I have a natural dislike for politics, it's always others who die when politicians make decisions. Sometimes I feel like they don't understand what it's like to actually do what they order soldiers to do. They don't appreciate human life. But maybe that is just my mind playing tricks with me, I don't understand most of the things happening right now. I just put my trust to the others in the group, they seem to have it under control.   
  
I'm trying my best to fit in and not seem to out of place when we eat dinners and stuff with others but it's hard. I really feel like I come from a different Imperium of Mankind then these fancy people. But that is the world I guess, the church and orphanage, and after that the order, gave me a picture of the world that isn't true. Everyone can be bought it seems. It's just to play the game and hope I'll be able to change some peoples view at least. Don't know how but... I'll have to try right?   
  
I hope they send me to the Purifiers.. God I want to shoot some orc. Or just do anything that I feel remotely competent to do. Puts a nice distance between me and Sorkrat too. Or any other man looking at me. They are so annoying! I'm not even that pretty! Maybe I should change in to my powerarmor for the wedding? Just to make a point that I'm already taken? No.. I need to learn. I'm always allowed to kick their sorry asses if they don't head the warnings...   
  
Oh fuck.. those girls are here again... They have been pestering me for days talking about fabrics and dresses. I told them the first time, I do not care what they put me in as long as I can move swiftly in case of any emergencies. I'm told nothing will happen but... just in case.. and I refuse to wear one of those silly dresses making you unable to breath and looking like some supernova that got punched in to a fluffy fabric. I do not understand what is wrong with those nice clothes we bought for me when we went to that dinner with the Jovis last year, it's not like I've used them again since. Castellas dress is really pretty, not some big spectacle, just a simple white dress. I bet that will make her stand out more then any of those crazy nobles.   
  
Okay.. they have put me in their choice of outfit now. It's a compromise I guess.. Some sort of jacket with a train (why that is necessary I do not know and I will not ask), with some awfully tight pants and some quite nice black leather boots with high heels. I've decided to just wear my hair in a tight ponytail, shocking apparently, but they get to put some make-up on my face so they stay quiet... Dress up, check, now I just have to find Castella, Ishtan or Flavion and stay far far away from Sorkrat and my day is a success.   
//sign of id: 0022345


	10. Entry 452

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Entry 452:  
I've arrived at the Purificers in the Gelmiro systems now and it's nice. I feel kind of bad for the imperials I hitched the ride with, they seem almost scared to death but I guess that's natural. They have no powerarmors or elite training. Things are according to Janus going pretty well out here, the orcs are driven back. Janus also gave me some news I guess I in the end didn't want to know about either... But I asked so I just have myself to blame. I asked if he had heard any news about my ex sisters, and he had. Apparently the Imperium isn't pleased with them so they will do some … cleaning... from the top down within the organization. I know what that means... People will die, if they have acted wrong or not will not matter. They will just be examples made by the Imperium. I'm trying not to feel guilty, because it isn't my fault and I can do nothing about it. I just still feel connected to them. I want to save them. Make them see his way as I have. But I don't have the power to do that, I'm no politician and I sure as hell ain't convincing even when I try to be.  Military orders I give with positive outcome but anything else? Not my table. I will just have to hope that something happens that minimizes the bloodshed and do my best to save humanity in the meantime. It's enough to do to keep my mind off things one should think right?   
  
Oh! I have to write this down so I don't forget to tell the others when I come back to Scintilla, I met the priestess that was in their acolyte group before me today. She seemed a lot more happy now then when I last saw her... but then again she wasn't recovering from being kidnapped by cultist now either. She is giving sermons on the planet now, raising the faith within the ranks of those Imperial Guards stationed here and war torn people that live here. She has a really amazing gift for words I must say, and she speaks with such certainty about the Emperors will. Hard cold justices to those who only wishes to harm mankind and his mercy upon those who serve him and thus mankind, and to those who withhold their faith even through trying times like these. I don't know but...I kind of had an aha-moment there, realizing that actually is his wish. Tomorrow I will join the fight against the orcs, the ship going back isn't leaving until the end of the week so I might just as well be useful during my time here. Might save some of those Guardsmens lifes. I'm heading to the training grounds now, to keep my mind off things and warm up for tomorrow.  
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	11. Entry 504

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Entry 504: Make it stop! Fucking hell I'm.. I can't take this. I can't. There is no way! Something fucked up when we went into warp and she has been pestering me for days now... It's Blaze I... she won't stop screaming and yelling at me. I thought I would break when I first saw her, everything came back so strongly. So vivid. That god forsaken day when those heretics killed her. Steel and I never ran so fast as when we tried to get her to the medics, but it was to late. We both knew it even before we came there but... We couldn't just give up on her. It was Blaze. We three were inseparable back then. The Sister Superior gave us so much shit for it but it was worth it, I couldn't leave her there to rot. And now I'm in to my second day listening to her ghost calling me names and calling me a traitor. I tried to explain but she won't listen. She says Steel should be promoted for snitching on me to the superiors. It hurts but I stay strong. She is wrong. Calling me unfaithful to the Emperor. A whore for working with rouge traders. I try not to get angry with her, she doesn't know any better... It might not even be her for real. But it hurts. I want it to stop. I want her to listen and find peace. I need no ghost of the past tormenting me. I know my guilt and shame perfectly well anyway. I must keep strong. I can't listen.   
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	12. Entry 505

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Entry 505: This is just getting worse... Red manifested this morning... She and Blaze has been following me all day. Blaze just left though, I hope she doesn't come back. I hope she goes to him but.. I don't know... Reds presence is almost worse, she is so miserable, not the cheerful positive Sister I remember... She tells me she didn't go to the Emperor and she doesn't understand why, she did nothing wrong. I don't know what to tell her. I don't have any answers. It scares me, what if... what if non of us goes to him? I... no... I can't allow myself being afraid of death. I can't. My heart feels like it's breaking. I want to help her so bad... If I could I'd bring her back to life and let her come with us. She was such a good person such a true friend. I won't say she approves of my new life but she is confused and doubting our old one too. So frightened and alone... I can't stop crying. I don't need this. My Sisters deserve to go to him and rest in peace. The stories she tells me...apparently she just got tossed out in warp, up for grabs for any deamon present. Torn to pieces. So little of her is left... She didn't deserve this. No one does. I need to get away or just... I want my old Red... the jokes,the good spirit and comforting words in hard times.  
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	13. Entry 506

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Entry 506: I can't escape her. Everywhere I go she follows, spilling these horrible stories about how the deamons has devoured her and mournful questions on why he won't take her to his side. No one can help me. Everybody has their own ghost to take care of. I've been hiding in my room for almost two days now. I want this to stop. I need to find away to make her feel better... I just don't know how.. I'm no adept or psyker, I know nothing about warp.  
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	14. Entry 507

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Entry 507: This might be the punishment Blaze claimed I deserved... Red is gone now... I couldn't help her. I woke up and she was gone. I got three hours of sleep day, I haven't slept in ages it feels like...  Now Mia has been punishing me too... She fell to Slaanesh it seems. It disgusts me. She was such an inspiration before...when she was alive. Now she behaves worse than any whorish noble I've ever heard of. I tried to pray for her but she just laughed at me. Emperor give me strength...  the vulgarities coming out of her mouth, I tried to make her go away with pray but she didn't. She just laughed at me. Called me naïve and boring. I guess I have some kind of... breathing space now. Astra arrived a couple of days ago. She says she feels the Emperors presence, she has been taken to his side. Of sorts. She describe herself as being nothing, but also a part of him. A part of his powers but not him. She's sad for being dead. She seems to be the one to understand me and my situation the best of those who has come. I miss her so much even though she is kind of here. I never knew Astra was so wise, she usually kept to herself when I knew her. She was my superior so I had no chance to really get to know her but... I often saw her around. I've missed having a Sister to talk to. Don't get me wrong I enjoy my new company, and my time with the Space Marines gave me a sense of home but nothing can be the same as the real thing. I try not to dwell in the past, forward is the only way to the future right? This last month though.. It's been impossible not to remember and think back on what was. We have talked so much, about what I've experienced. She admits it's hard to swallow that I lied to everybody for such a long time, and reminds me that Steel did nothing wrong exposing me per se. She did what she thought was right and I shouldn't really blame her for that. I know she is right, and she claims that my time will come. That it's not to late for me to be able to one day come home and not be shot on sight. It's hard for me to believe. I'm just thankful they let me live at all, otherwise I'd be lost in warp like my other Sisters. Emperor help them see your way...   
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	15. Entry 515

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Entry 515: We met with the Lord Inquisitor today. It was fascinating, and scary, at the same time. We have got a very important assignment, I will not speak closer about it until I know that it is safe but it is on Mara. A forbidden planet. Ishtan, our old and sometimes wise psyker almost got teary eyed with fear when he heard were we are going. I am excited, this is it. I can feel it in my bone. The big fight. The final stand. The only thing worrying me is the psyker they sent with us, he seemed.. Insane. I know the others think I'm too calm and excited about this but this man... he is insanely happy about it. Like a servitor programmed with a happy personality. He gives me chills.   
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	16. Entry 521

/sign in id: 0022345  
//command new entry data log  
Entry 521: This might be my last entry. We have crashed on Mara, it's a full scale three way war going on above us in orbit and I don't know who hit us but we crashed. I'm the only one awake right now, but only Castella seems to be badly hurt. We hit the wall to our location, but the wrong side, so it seems to be some 160 feet of wall between us and our objective. Or me and the objective if things are really bad. Damn it's cold here... I just wanted to make this entry in case of a mission failure. I have approximately 8-9 ours left if I wait to turn on my powerarmor until the cold really starts hurting me. We cannot fail. The empire very much can depend on us not failing. There is chaos on the planet. We saw their ships in orbit, so in heart I have two missions. The prime objective, and the always present one of eradicating chaos.   
  
Sisters, if you find this, I am sorry I could do nothing. I beg of you, look for his light. It won't be were you think it will be. We got it all so wrong.

//sign of id: 0022345


	17. Entry 522

/sign in id: 0022345  
//command new entry data log   
Entry 522: We survived. Our mission was a success and we survived. I am not sure if I am fine, I wish I could say I was but... I made a foolish decision and I am so full of shame. My... Fear got the best of me. It shouldn't but it did. I think it got the best of all of us except Castella. I wish I was as strong and clever as she is. Emperor have mercy on my soul...   
  
We were shown possible futures during the mission... I was a Sister again, apparently Holy according to my rankings, and the Abess. Such vanity. I will never wear such a armour again, but it pulled at my heart. For a moment the possibility seemed real. Forgiveness, and acceptance. Even if it is his will to make me one of the Sororitas again... No... I have to have faith in that they acctually do his bidding too, that they are just clouded in specific judgements. If it is his wish that my Sisters will take me back they will, otherwise... Otherwise his plans for me are different, and his plans are the only things that are important. My vanity and childish longings will have to step aside. I guess I'm just getting homesick and feeling a bit lonely.  
  
It is kind of.. empty now. Everyone are going back to their normal life now, since the mission is over. I realized that I don't have much of a life outside of the missions the Inquisition have given me. Castella has her family with Sorkat, and she isn't talking to me any more. Because of my stupidity. I wouldn't talk to me either if I had a choice. Ishtan has his family too, and Flavion is starting on that forge I think. I don't have anything like that... It is foolish, I know but I feel kind of lost. Again. It feels like I should go somewhere too. Relax, spend time with loved ones, have a good time. It's just that... I don't have such a place. My loved ones despises me, well except Flavion and Isthan but they are busy with their stuff and... I'm not sure how to have a good time and relax any more. It feels wrong, because there is so much chaos and danger out there. I'm heading out to the Gelmiro Systems again I think. Or find myself some other intrusion in the sector to fight. I can't just sit around doing nothing, it eats up my soul and heart. And if I can make a few more innocents or just regular soldiers come home I'm happy. They do have loved ones to spend time with, they do have homes and lifes beyond the fight. I want to keep them safe. I know he wants me to have more in my life then fighting, but it is what I do, and very much who I am. A solider for his Empire. Maybe one day I will be able to take a vacation, but I doubt that. The war wont be over until he rises again, there is always another foe trying to kill us or twist us in to abominations. I will stand between those foes and humanity until the day I die. It is my purpose.  
  
//sign of id: 0022345


	18. Entry 535

/sign in id: 0022345  
//command new entry data log  
Entry 535: Writing this on the way from Kryllos II, Flavion is going over my armour repairing it again. A chainsword to the chest and head makes me a bit achy today, but I'm satisfied anyway. Our mission was a success, we closed a couple of warpgates Eldars use and discovered and killed a platoon of guards who had turned to chaos. Their captain, the narcissistic bastard, tried to make them to chaos space marines. He will have a very hard time continuing that as dead and burned as he is now. Creep. They had help, obviously, by a real Chaos Space marine, but he is dead too. That was a closer call then I'd like to admit though, Flavion and I took a great deal of damage but the Emperor stood by us. And there is nothing like a hard fight to make you realize just how alive you are. Even though I prefer to not get my chest ripped a part, or some monstrous freak trying to cut my head of with a chainsword.   
  
It started when we got a message about that their problems with orcs had gone from controllable to something odd. We went there on our way back from our planet and when we got there we learned that a whole settlement and its guards had vanished without a trace. First we went out to the settlement, checked around for clues and found residue of warp in the village and around the fort, we also checked the mountains around the settlement and found a hideaway that according to Ishtan was very warp touched, and a warpgate.  Castella and Flavion, as the geniuses they are made a warpgate-scanner that we used to track down another warpgate and destroyed them both. They hadn't been active for a couple of thousand years but you can never be to sure can you? Then we talked to the governor, who gave us everything we needed, including drinks. I'm not used to so mighty people actually being nervous around us because we have the authority of the Inquistion. Any way, he did not have a lot to give us information wise so we talked to the Captain who were to release the vanished guards. Lets just... He was a creep, I checked him out the other way and Slaanesh was the first thing that came to my mind, and that he was crazy. All of his soldiers were like that too, calm and offensive. We also interviewed the villagers but did not find out that much, except that they hid things away in the hideaway we had found so they did not have to pay so much in tithe, which we did not really care about. We were starting to suspect deamons or Dark Eldars, some stalled away booze did not matter to us.   
In agreement with the high commander, who wanted the Captain and his disgusting platoon away from the city, we sent the guards back to patrol the fort while we kept watch in the hideaway. During the night Flavion heard a click, as if someone closed down their security so we contacted them to see if everything was alright. It was they said, they had closed it of because the noise disturbed their sleep. Lazier and more disrespectful soliders I doubt you can find. We let it go though, giving them the warning that if they did it again we would come down. Two hours later, they sure did it again. We went down, slightly annoyed with their behaviour and what happens? They shot a missile on us. That was the last straw, Castella dropped the rest of us on the roof and we went in from there settled to do some disciplining. We were met by them shooting at us, and mutated filled with gene-seeds. The soldiers were no match for us, we blasted us down through the floors but on the last floor we met the former Captain and the Legionnaire. Our psyker managed to switch the gravity in the room, making us all except the legionnaire, everyone but Flavion managed to adjust before hitting the roof and I think it was to our advantage. It made it harder for the legionnaire to reach us. I shoot at the legionnaire, he was the biggest threat. I in return got attacked by the monster, aka the former Captain, who had grabbed his masters chainsword. He got a good hit, and I did not manage to dodge, if I hadn't had my helmet my head probably would have been cut clean off now he just mangled my helmet hurting me bad but not making me unconscious or killing me. It is a bit fuzzy but somehow I think Ishtan got in to it with the legionnaire while I tried to kill and ward off the monster. I shot him in his arm, he cut me in my chest, and then his brainmatter was all over me. Castella had with one shot blown his brains out. I did not really think about it then but Ishtan had spaceslipped away, avoiding a bashing from the legionnaire he couldn't handle. Flavion was in combat with the filthy creature now, and I joined him. He was in really bad shape, Flavion that is, we both were. I prayed over my shoots, doing everything I could to make the bastard go down and finally he fell. In a exploding mess of gore. We won and purged the whole fort before going back to the town and giving our report on the matter. The orc reports were false too, the traitor Captain had killed everyone in the settlement and fort opposing him and spread false reports of orcs trying to divert attention from his actions. May the Emperors light burn him beyond existence.    
  
The worst part I guess is that this is just one part of shit that has hit the fan, we just lowered a mountain range on tons of Nekrons too, I thought we were done for when they reported those monsters down on a agriworld close to Malfi. And we lost our ship in a fight against xenos, but we found a new ship in the shipgraveyard we hid in, a Haarlock ship. I'm a bit vary, I admit that but it seems to work fine and Castella and Flavion are like children in a candystore. Apparently the ship is good. It's large, that much I gather. A cruiser instead of our old frigate.  We also have reported Eldars in the Sector and well... shit is hitting the fan. Everywhere. We have chaos coming in from the core, we have a green wave in the Gelmiro system that are spreading, the xenos from our the to-be sector were our planet lies are going to attack but we don't know when and tons of other freakish things are happening. I hope he fixes my armour fast, I have a distinct feeling I will need it.  
  
Castella still doesn't really talk to me, she won't start anything that compromises our missions but... She doesn't trust me. I understand why. It just hurts a bit, but I'm getting used to it. After all, it does not matter if she likes me or not. She is my Inquistior and I will do as she say. Maybe one day she will want me as a friend again, if not... well... then that is it. It is such a small thing compared to what is happening right now, and my goal is to save the sector. Focus and do the job, but now I have to start moving, they are calling me to the bridge. Some new message, ak a more shit has hit the fan.  
//sign of id: 0022345


	19. Entry 556

/sign in id: 0022345  
//command new entry data log  
Entry 536: Damn... the message was that they have problems on Reshia. Adept Sororitas are there fighting Haytes Pilgrims, and apparently all the other non-heritcal pilgrims too. I don't understand why they would do such a thing but the others promised that we would check in to it. Maybe they just... no... I can not make excuses for them if they are killing the Emperors pilgrims but why would they? They are there to protect those people! The commander for them is Atella. Well, one good thing I guess, as soon as she sees me she will stop shooting who ever she is shooting and start shooting at me. Or something... I hope this can come down in a good way. Wiping out my former sisters is not something I'm looking forward to, but if it is necessary to save the fateful from them I will. Damn... Was I naïve hoping I'd be able to avoid a confrontation with them? Nothing to do though, I cannot hide now. Just stand tall and try to make them see reason.   
//sign of id: 0022345


	20. Entry 537

/sign in id: 0022345  
//command new entry data log  
Entry 537: Reporting about the situation on Reshia, the situation is under control again. When we arrived it got confirmed that the Adept Sororitas in their feverish battlerage killed anyone in front of them when attacks against the heretics were executed. They had not slept for 10 days and were losing their sanity and were not fit to make decisions. The enemy were actively using them to kill fateful flagellants fighting for the sacred cave on the planet. I could feel the damned tempering and infusing their rage, driving them to these acts of horror. The commander of the militia pointed out the leader of the heretics and the mountain peak he taunted the Sisters from keeping them from sleep and a chance to rest. Our plan was simple, since our new ship has a transporter we were to shuttle back to the ship and transport us down to the peak killing the heretic leaders and hopefully create disorder within their ranks. However we had never tested the transporter and did not now how accurate it was so we decided to try it by transporting down a bright coloured flag on a pointy pole so we could measure its accuracy. Well, our troops decided that they should try to strike the coordinates we were meaning to use for ourself, and our transporter is very accurate indeed. It put the flag and it's pole straight through the taunting preacher. It caused a bit of an disruption in their attacks, but soon they were at it again and I could feel another one up there, and I could feel his joy over the carnage my former sisters dealt those who did not have the luck to get out of their way innocent or not. I could not take it, I wanted up there, I wanted to fight him myself. The way up was to dangerous to take on though, do Castella ordered the PDF to bombard the peak making it clear for us to get up there. Their bombardment killed him, we did not need to do it ourselves. The Sororitas pulled back and Castella tried to make Atella see her wrongs but Atella would not have it, she attacked Castella trying to strangle her. And I in my weakness could not shoot her. I tried to wrestle her of Castella, some part of me wishing she would let out all her hate on me but she did not even acknowledge my attempts. Then a shot went of and Atella had a hole in her head. Obadiah, he came up with a army of zealots behind him ready to make a end to the Adept Sororitas in the Calixis sector. I saw my sisters being ready to charge us all, my heart sank like a rock. I would not be able to watch that massacre, not of them. The fight was inevitable, the Sisters were to enraged to stand down when their leader had been killed but they had no real chance. The mob was too strong. They did not all die, but they surrendered. Obadiah wanted to kill them, punish them for have been fooled and used Chaos. I tried to talk to Obadiah, to give them a chance to collect themselves, to have mercy. They did not know, and they had good intentions. He agreed to let them sleep and then see what the situation looked like. Meanwhile a strange conversation took place, he asked me about the new direction the Sororitas should take for this not to happen again. More ranged combat, tanks maybe, to keep an distance so the rage become a disadvantage rather then the merit it is in close combat. I gave him my thoughts but also reminded him that I no longer am a part of their organization, so why would my opinions matter? The day after I talked to them, I do not know if they listened but I hope they did. I tried to explain to them what they had done, how they had lost their way and put in danger the people they were to protect. I tried to explain that they could gain forgiveness, but they needed to fight the real enemy and keep focused. That losing themselves to the rage and hate that much was to lose themselves to Chaos. I'm no preacher by any means, but I know their world. I know what they live through and I pray that they understood what I said and the trueness in my speech. We left afterwards, we have a whole lot more to do and need to get it done before Chaos or the Xenos take this Sector from us. There is no time to mourn.  
//sign of id: 0022345


End file.
